Remembering Christmas

I might have been a little cynical in that last post. Not the entire season was stressful, just that one week of snow days. It really was a rough one! And I really do need to simplify and organize my holiday season a little bit. Despite all that, there was plenty of Christmas magic around here. Here's what I hope to remember from Christmas this year.

12 days of Christmas for US! Each day we got a piece of a nativity and some other little treat/Christmas decoration from an anonymous family. We have our suspicions, but we made sure to keep the blinds closed and their identities protected. I'm so grateful that during a busy time of year someone made time to drop by our house every night! I hope we can pass along that magic next year. It was really neat.

A special gift for Carver... Christmas Eve and we got a knock on the door from a sweet deacon in the ward who had a present for our little man. It made us both choke up at the love he showed to Carver, bringing him a super-cool extra-large egg of silly putty. So thoughtful. Kudos to his great mom for helping it happen. And to that good boy who RODE HIS BIKE in the snow to deliver Christmas cheer.

A gift of time... There were many thoughtful, generous gifts received this year, but hands down my favorite? Derek's time. I got a gallon of paint from my parents (who knew I'd ever be grown up enough to actually WANT that for Christmas, but I REALLY did!) and Derek offered to help me paint the half-bath that very night. I took him up on it and I am so grateful that he helped me FINISH something. That never happens. We've even hung pictures in there and it feels so great to see it come together.



Christmas pjs - oh, boy! I saved a bundle and made them this year - just the pants. And it was all sorts of variations on the wrong fit. Derek was the big winner, though. I'll only post a picture if I get permission. T-I-G-H-T!! Oops. Next year I'll make up for it with a huge-mongous pair, right?



I got approval for a shot of the tights, I mean snowman PJ pants. He graciously wore them for the family picture, but worried they might rip if he tried bending in them more than that.



Christmas Eve... my FAVORITE day of the year. The Nativity story, the pjs and driving around to look at lights. This year we added vocal solos by the girls and testimonies, which were both the highlight of the evening. Simple, heartfelt expressions of what Christmas is all about. I love the anticipation, too. Lydia's delighted comment, "I thought I heard sleigh-bells!!" as we were going inside after looking at lots of snow-covered Christmas lights nicely sums that up.









A VERY white Christmas... just a couple pics. 2 full weeks of snow on the ground?! This is Seattle! It's been crazy. But once I finished all the errands and got over the permanent lack of school, it's been pretty fun. I'll have to post more funny pictures of the kids in the snow later. Here's where the sandbox should be...



And the day I'd been waiting for - the retaining wall was covered by snow drifts.


Okay, one more - this is next to our driveway, built up from weeks of shoveling. Not to mention the drifts that blew into our yard from across the street.



Thinking about Mary and Elizabeth, who strengthened each other and reaffirmed their faith as they both carried very precious sons of God. I've been really touched by pondering on their time together, a very young woman and a very old woman - experiencing the greatest miracle of their lives together. I LOVE the Christmas story. I never get tired of thinking of the symbolism and the magnificent faith of those involved.

Isn't Christmas great?

the MAGIC of Christmas

This holiday season has been so hectic. Maybe it's because I'm a classic procrastinator, finishing more than one child's stocking on Christmas Eves past. Maybe it's because Relief Society responsibilities really pick up this time of year (Christmas drop-offs, Christmas CDs from the RS Presidency, 2009 lesson schedule, and I'm teaching in two weeks?!! YIKES!). Maybe it's because I lost a full week of productive activity due to massive amounts of snow and ice and the dreaded school cancellations. Maybe it's crazy to try to make so many gifts myself. Maybe it's because I expect too much out of myself and Christmas.

My vision isn't complicated. Every night read the scripture from the Friend magazine, set up the little advent house and read one Christmas story. That can't take more than 15 minutes, right? But I find myself setting up at least 2 houses when I get around to those, catching up on as many as 3 scriptures and blowing off the stories all together.

It doesn't feel magical, it feels nutty. I've had some sweet personal moments reflecting on the Nativity story and witnessing beautiful acts of kindness this Christmas, but mostly I'm just overwhelmed. What do YOU do to have a simple, Christ-centered Christmas? What do you wish you did? Next year I want to be DONE EARLY. Christmas cards ordered, letter written, presents purchased, teacher gifts thought of, etc... I want to bask in the wonder of Christmas and the love of the Savior, have time to snuggle up with my kids and read my favorite stories. I want to FEEL the magic, even if I am all grown-up.

Snowed in

Just when you think there is nothing harder than sacrament meeting with a wiggly, noisy 1 year old and a busy 3 year old... they cancel church for snow and ice. ALL day at home with them and nothing to do IS harder than sacrament meeting! We even toyed with finding another ward to visit and have a break to our day, but all the local wards were canceled. Seattle is a funny place to live in that way. Sure, it's slippery, windy and in the 20s. But we could just drive slow, right!

I'm trying not to hyperventilate thinking of the potential school snow days this week, the LAST week before winter break anyhow, the days I'm counting on to wrap up Christmas projects and shopping without children in tow. AUGH!

There was a silver lining - we had a fun time crunching in the frozen snow in our yard and sledding down our driveway on garbage can lids. Our video camera's batteries were low so I used the extension cord from the Christmas lights on the porch to move about the front yard with the camera plugged in. We were quite the sight.





The kids were wild and silly and needed a break as much as we did. The highlight of the day was napping when Grace and Carver did. But Grace had Carver's room, Carver commandeered our bed (and somehow filled it up), so I took Lydia's bed and Derek took Ellie's. It felt a little "I Love Lucy" on separate twins, but at least we got to rest. :) The girls just colored downstairs, bless their hearts. The pictures look so warm somehow, but the wind factor has dropped the temperature to below 20 and into the single digits tonight. Believe me, it was C-C-C-Cold!





I'm not really sure why Ellie spent so much time sweeping. Maybe it was because she saw Daddy do it before he used the shovel. Maybe it was because her big scheme to use a shovel and pail to play in the yard was a total flop in the dry snow.

And here's Carver and Grace in their gear. I laughed so hard at Grace bundled up, waddling around like a little oompa-loompa. She was all excited to go out and then just wandered around, looking confused - probably wondering why this was supposed to be fun. That's pretty much my feeling about playing the snow, too.

Something I really CAN do

Okay, isn't this a darling little baking set? I found it through blogs - a friend's link to another link that led me to this cute, cute etsy shop. I might be in LOVE with felt food - easy, cheap, absolutely adorable! Unfortunately, I'm not going to organize my own little felt cookie making factory to make my millions... I'll just make a few for myself and share the tip with all of you! :)

The things I think I can do

So here's the story of Grace's "accidental a-line." I'd been watching it get long in back, a nice curly baby mullet, and thinking I'd like to trim that part off into a nice clean bob, just about chin length all around. Here's a before shot:



I let both other girls' hair grow several years before giving them a real "style" and always wondered why I waited so long. So this was unfortunately premeditated.

Thanksgiving night, Derek was bathing the little ones and I grabbed the scissors. The first cut and I knew I'd blown it. I was so excited about actually finishing my project that I didn't take the extra minute necessary to think through the details. Like how much to cut, for example. It shrunk up immediately and there was no turning back. I had to finish cutting the rest of it. The problem is that it is SO short that she really needed clippers to get the back of her neck. And my brain finally kicked in to warn me that was NOT a good idea. I didn't want her ending up with Carver's style. At least I know my limits, right? And I really did quote that line from Nemo immediately...

"You think you can do these things, Rachael, but you CAN'T!"

But I want to. And I don't want to pay someone else to do it in the meantime. So I'll continue to give bad hair cuts while the kids are little and HOPEFULLY by the time they care, I'll have gotten better at it. :)

The damage:



A side shot:



See? Grace doesn't care! It'll grow... And it actually looks okay from the front.



Oh - and along the same lines, I've recently caught myself using Ellie grammar. Words like "tooken" just pop out of my mouth in adult conversations and I'm horrified. I was a TA in college and graded papers, for crying out loud!! I've always prided myself on being a good writer. Yikes. Watch out - one of these days I'll call the Ensign a "mazagine" at church and you'll know I'm a goner.

P.S. Check out the similarities between Grace and Ellie's older picture below... whoa!

Uphill both ways

Today marks my second semi-annual run on our loaner treadmill. I huffed and I puffed and I tried to maximize my limited time with serious incline since I knew this grand occasion wouldn't come around again anytime soon. The good news is that my last attempt relied too heavily on general conference talks saved on Derek's mp3 player, which bring me to a slow, thoughtful stroll. I downloaded good ol' fashioned radio pop for tonight's event and it was MUCH easier to run, especially if I could manage to coordinate my steps to the beat (rather tricky since I'm rhythm impaired, but I guess a treadmill's thumping metronome brings out the control-freak in me).

Our treadmill is located in our fancy pants garage, where it faces an unfinished wall where a little dust bunny holds on for dear life, bobbing and swaying with my desperate exhales. Tonight, I realized that my thankful November has given way to a drowning December and I feel like I'm running uphill against the wall in a garage again and again in my daily routine.

And I keep practicing positive thinking with quotes like, "You think you can do these things, Nemo. But you can't!" Stay tuned for pics of the haircut that shouldn't have happened for the best illustration of that particular line...

But then again, things aren't SO bad. So what if my counters are perpetually covered in the day's activities and the floor is sticky AGAIN, even though I mopped it yesterday. (Was it really just yesterday? It feels like 3 weeks ago.) The highlight of my day was the conversation Ellie and I had in the car after her dance class, with Grace's stinky diaper tossed in the "trunk" of the van:

Me - "sure stinks in here!"
Ellie - "I think it smells like burritos."
Me - "what?! It smells like a poopy diaper, not something to eat."
Ellie - "well, it smells like a burrito to me. That happened on Sunday, too. It smelled bad and I thought it smelled like a burrito."

(this is true - we had a similar conversation on the way home from church)

Ellie - "Burritos is a funny word. It doesn't sound very yummy since it has "toes" in it."

Oh, Ellie!! Moments like those keep me sane. And from falling off my daily treadmill.



I found this classic Ellie picture recently. What a cutie she was! She still makes me laugh.

Grateful for NAPS

I don't get to have one myself very often, but they are delicious when I sneak it in. It's just hard to stop whatever else I'm doing and relax fast enough for the nap to be worth it. Nothing used to frustrate me like a failed nap attempt, but I've gotten desperate enough lately to be satisfied with feeling sleepy on my bed next to Carver. By the time I doze off, he wakes up and we're back to life. Drat!

But what I REALLY love is sleeping babies. Grace on the hottest day EVER on vacation in San Diego last summer. Love those pink cheeks!



This is Grace today walking home from the bus stop at 1:30 (early release days for the kids mean LATE naps for the little ones).



And then there is Carver, who naps on my bed since he shares a room with Grace and I absolutely will NOT risk anyone waking up sooner than necessary.



This was a couple weeks ago, but he sleeps with blankets over his head fairly consistently. He naps great after preschool, not so long on regular days. But I can't complain. Something is very much better than nothing!

Oh, Ellie. She fell asleep in the craziest places. MANY times at the table eating or coloring. Here's just one... I love her fuzzy scarf. She's 3 1/2 here.



And the couch, sitting up. This cracked us up, too. She was 2 1/2.



Okay, just one more... Lydia was feeling left out, right? Here's her 3 year old self in her dress up at Grandma's house. She LOVED those sandals on the floor!



The girls very rarely nap anymore and I know I'm on borrowed time with Carver. Someday these days will be gone for good and I will miss how sweet and beautiful children are when they are asleep, how warm and snuggly they are when they wake up. The rosy cheeks, the lines on their faces from pressing into blankets, the messy hair and the coziness of their waking up hugs.

Grateful to READ

What would I do without books? Is there a better hobby? Almost completely FREE, thanks to the library system, unless you consider my accumulating late fees. I really try to stay on top of that! Here's just a small stash from our weekly library visit. And reading is completely mess-free, unless you consider the household chores I neglect when I'm finishing my latest book. So nothing is COMPLETELY anything, I'm finding! But reading is pretty darn close to completely perfect.

I'm so grateful I know how to read - not only novels, but history and product manuals, the news and the scriptures. I can't imagine my life without literacy. It's beautiful and exciting to watch Ellie learn herself, to find that she knows what things say. And a little scary to see how much Lydia gets immersed in her books (I don't know WHERE she got that!)

Just a couple favorites of the last 6 months or so (that's about as far back as I can remember these days!):

The Count of Monte Cristo by Dumas
Hero and the Crown by Robin McKinley
Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Beekeeper's Apprentice by Laurie King

The only downside to reading is how consuming it can become - my experience reading Twilight last fall pretty much sums up the desperation I sometimes feel when I've reached that "point of no return" and NEED to finish. So it's sometimes a binge and purge technique to make up for the BOOK BINGE that left the laundry unfolded... :)

Grateful for windshield wipers

Today I was mopping the floor and wondering why I even bother. I started thinking about windshield wipers and how they do their job, not because the windshield is going to stay clean and dry, but because it lets us see where we're going. So I'm going to be a good little windshield wiper and clean my house. I'm going to have to do all my chores again in a minute, but at least this way we can see where we're going! :)

Grateful for seasons

I love the changing of the seasons. Even after a summer filled with glorious days at the beach, evening walks to the park and bright morning sunshine streaming into the kitchen, I'm ready to see the leaves burst into color and the air turn crisp. I don't enjoy the shift to winter quite as much, but I DO enjoy playing in freshly fallen snow and vanilla hazelnut hot chocolate with whipped cream. Mmmm... Then spring comes around, with new life replacing the bare branches and earth. Even those early spring weeks are exciting because you know what's coming. And that's the beauty of seasons. It's the promise of change, the variety and the contrast that is so satisfying.

This year I'm grateful for the cycles in our lives, the hard seasons that end eventually and the beauty of the peaceful seasons that follow. Last year, early October brought news of unemployment to Derek and our family. Until the week before Christmas, we felt the heaviness of that burden during the holidays. Whew, what a fall! So this year I am grateful for a new fall (with paychecks!), a new season to enjoy. And I'm also grateful NOT to be expecting a baby since I've been morning sick with pregnancy 4 different falls since we got married. Every year as the leaves change I literally feel nausea in honor of those memories! :)

This is a great season for our family in so many ways! Happy Fall!

Grateful to be a mother

Being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done because it's the most important thing I've ever done. What can compare with the influence of a mother on her children? Absolutely nothing. Of course the challenge is to recognize the value of motherhood without feeling the burden of inadequacy.

I love Sister Beck's comment that:

"Female roles did not begin on earth, and they do not end here. A woman who treasures motherhood on earth will treasure motherhood in the world to come.”

I find so much hope in knowing that I was a mother before this life and that I will be afterwards. I can do this HERE because of who I was THEN. It's literally what I was born to do. I mother in my own way, but that was part of the plan, too. Being a mom requires a million different skills. Who can possibly do them all well? We just do the best we can.



This is Lydia and I on a field trip. It was my first one to chaperone because I always have other kids who need me. This time I rearranged everything to be there for her. (And depended on two other friends/moms to help me out!) Being a mom is like that, balancing, carefully choosing one good thing over another, trying to be there for the moments that matter most. I'm far from perfect at being the mom, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

My children have taught me so much about life and love and sacrifice, patience and faith. I've been stretched in ways I never would've dreamed. All because I'm a mother.

Grateful to blog

Of course, I'm grateful for blogs. Grateful for the friends I've stayed in touch with, for the blogging friends I've made and YOUR creativity that brightens my day through pictures, stories and thoughts. I love to read blogs and I love having a reason and a place to write. Aren't blogs great?

And it's appropriate timing since this is my 100th blog. I feel obligated to celebrate - blogger style. Here goes:

Things I've said at least 100 times:
"be nice"
"don't TOUCH!"
"put it where it really goes."
"did you use soap?"
"good-night, I love you."
"what did you do at school today?"

What do I usually do with 100 spare minutes?
READ my latest book
look at blogs

What would I do with 100 spare dollars?
Christmas shop
paint a bathroom or two
frame a picture
get some great black boots

What I wouldn't mind having 100 LESS of:
papers to file
slugs
weeds in my yard
diapers to change
complaints/whines/tattles

What I'd love another 100 of:
sweet and sour meatballs
pumpkin bars with cream cheese frosting
ice cream
waves/kisses/air-hugs through the bus window
phone calls to family/friends
naptimes
great pictures of my kiddos
family tradition of pizza on Friday for "Family Fun Night"
warm days at the lake
sounds of happiness in our home

Next post, I promise pictures. This feels so empty and naked without them!

A month of GRATITUDE

My friend, Carlen, had this great idea to to gratitude posts all the month of November. I loved it, so I'm going to do it, too! (Feel free to join in if you'd like to!)

Today I'm grateful that I only have a cold. I was thinking about it yesterday, I guess, and realizing how much worse off it could be. I mean, this one IS pretty nasty. I'm still tired and inconvenienced by coughing and congestion and we've passed the week mark. The kids aren't sleeping great, but no one is sick enough to stop anything but church nursery. So we push on through our days. And I feel a little grumpy and annoyed sometimes that it's lingering on.


BUT then I was reflecting on the not-so-distant past when families experienced much worse illness in their homes. Imagine mumps going through your family, scarlet fever, etc.. All those painful shots for our sweet little kiddos at their well-checks mean that the worst kind of sickness most of us encounter in our homes will be the inconvenience of wiping noses (thanks for tissues!) and taking tylenol (hurray for modern medicine!). And what's more, there are no lasting side effects of the common cold/flu. For all THAT I give thanks!

Halloween 08

In a very uncharacteristic move, I did NOT torture my children with a long, drawn-out photo shoot in full Halloween attire and pie-crust promises of "just one more picture." Nope. Not this year. In the end, I was lucky to get a shot of each of them in their costumes at all. We've all been sick, which makes me tired and more practical than usual. So when kids were running around the house screaming and yelling and being hyped on sugar and the mere mention of sugar, I decided to pick a different battle. Excuses, excuses. I just still wish I had dang cute pictures like years past. Here's what Halloween REALLY looked like around here this year.

Grace was a cute little lady-bug that didn't get to trick-or-treat because it was a heck of a lot of work chasing the other 3 around the neighborhood. Maybe next year. She was great at looking cute in the stroller, though!



Ellie was a cheerleader this year.



Our good friend, Kimball, helped make clear that her choice in RED wasn't reflective of an actual preference for the U of U.



Lydia ventured into the spooky costume realm for the first time this year. Isn't she a great ghost?



This is her face painted spider-web from our ward Harvest party. I just loved her expression in this one.



Carver was a lion. He was a good little trick-or-treater, saying "thank you" just about every time. "trick-or-treat" was harder. They were usually holding the candy and I'm sure he just figured it was unnecessary. :)



We decorated cookies and had soup with friends before heading out to trick-or-treat together. It was loud and crazy, but so much fun.



Hope you had a great Halloween, too! I'm glad that it's over and that we have more meaningful celebrations to come! :)

SURVIVAL MODE

A couple weeks ago, Derek and I were discussing the needs of our kids. I made the comment, "IDEALLY, I'd spend a lot of time with her and take the time to be more patient, but right now I'm just in survival mode." I really meant it. So often I feel like the purpose of the day is to "survive," which is really a pathetic, distant cousin to the noble "endure," right?

So that idea has stayed with me for the last days, turning into weeks. I had a powerful "ah-ha" moment that will make most of you chuckle, I'm sure. I realized that, surprise, LIFE ISN'T GOING TO GET EASIER! Hello! My kids are going to keep getting older, more complicated and more scheduled. So that survival mode business is bunk. THIS is my life. It's crazy, it's testing and full of unexpected delays and detours. What better time to show what I'm made of that when it feels hard! Isn't that the whole point?

Along those lines, I've also been thinking a lot about the things that are WONDERFUL about where I'm at, barely keeping my head above water and all. Here's a couple pictures of my favorite things right now, the moments I will surely miss some day.

Eating sand. It makes me crazy, but what is cuter?



Imagination. I could probably show hundreds of those pictures, tell hundreds of great things the kids have come up with. I LOVE kids and the things they come up with! This is Carver driving the garbage truck at our park. It's hard to describe the JOY I felt when he started doing this - his first meaningful pretend play.



Toilet paper pulled completely off the roll, with no hope of re-rolling in any orderly fashion.



Summer days, in and out of the sliding door, sticky fingers and faces from otter pops.



Babies in big shoes. Grace is completely obsessed with shoes right now. If you come over, she's sure to try yours on.



Jumping into leaves. This is last year, one of my favorite pictures of all time.



How about slip 'n slides? We had good times last summer.




Ellie's CRAZY hair after kindergarten. Do I even want to know how simple piggies turn out like this?



Pumpkin patches, sitting on Santa's lap, paper chain countdowns to holidays, Lydia blowing kisses and signing "I love you" from the bus window regardless of who might see. Picture books, especially little ones backing into your lap with a favorite. I'm trying to make an ongoing list of these best times to help me remember why it is so important to do more than just SURVIVE these crazy days.

Don't think I'm there yet. I still have a long way to go. Tonight I turned on ANOTHER movie so I could try to destroy the kitchen by pressure cooking red beans. Last time it worked just like the directions said, so I was a little more confident. It scared us all silly when the rubber overpressure valve popped and FLEW off the canner and steam blew the vent off the microwave. The kids freaked out, Lydia thought it was so disturbing she wanted to record it in her diary right away. :) The mess in the kitchen was mountainous and I have a cold.

But it's not going to get easier anytime soon. As President Monson said in conference:

This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and non-existent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.

Time to do more than survive!

Birthday Boy... and PRESCHOOL!!

Last Saturday we celebrated Carver's birthday early partly because Grandma and Grandpa were in town, partly because his actual big day (Wed) was CRAZY busy and we couldn't have had a party if we wanted to. We hung up streamers in his doorway, put balloons in his room and celebrated all day. Well, if you count family pictures and a soccer game as birthday games... He had a great time despite all that. Most of all because he absolutely adores Grandpa!!



Here is the super cool tipi Grandma made him:



You can see he's got a way cool Buzz Lightyear fazer gun from Auntie Amy that he's using as a tool in most of the pictures. It's loud and obnoxious, but he LOVES it. That's what birthdays are for!



We're so glad that Carver is in our family. He has a sweet side that balances well with the boyish mischief he's always up to. Here's to one wonderful 3 year old!

On his actual birthday, he started PRESCHOOL. HURRAY!!! Did I mention how much I was looking forward to that milestone? Just a TINY bit. :) We went out to wait for the bus about 8:35, just as they'd said. By 8:45, we were tired of waiting and getting antsy since that's just when Lydia needs to leave for HER bus stop. But it came just in time. And our great friends/neighbors were there to snap a couple pictures before walking to the other bus stop with us. Carver did great. He hopped right on, blew tons of kisses and waved bye-bye. It was a tender moment watching him through the window just before the bus took off, but honestly... the moment passed and I was pretty darn excited for all of us!





Ellie needs me, Grace needs me, I need to have a little peace and quiet. I got to watch Ellie's dance class for the first time on Wednesday, which was so much fun. (I noticed a couple behaviors we'll be working on, as well... good thing I finally got to watch!!) We relished our mommy daughter time and painted nails, too. It was heavenly. Carver came home happy as a clam, ate his lunch and we headed to Ellie's bus stop. (yep, we're up to 4 bus stop times and it's only lunch time!) His teacher called in the afternoon to give a report - that's mostly on his blog, if you're curious. Thursday went great, as well, but he woke up really early that morning and so it was no surprise that he came home tired and grumpy. I think I'll get some good naps out of him yet! :) With 4 days of preschool a week, he's going to be wiped OUT!

So here we go, reaching another milestone and turning another corner. I'm excited to see what lies ahead. We sure love this boy!