SURVIVAL MODE

A couple weeks ago, Derek and I were discussing the needs of our kids. I made the comment, "IDEALLY, I'd spend a lot of time with her and take the time to be more patient, but right now I'm just in survival mode." I really meant it. So often I feel like the purpose of the day is to "survive," which is really a pathetic, distant cousin to the noble "endure," right?

So that idea has stayed with me for the last days, turning into weeks. I had a powerful "ah-ha" moment that will make most of you chuckle, I'm sure. I realized that, surprise, LIFE ISN'T GOING TO GET EASIER! Hello! My kids are going to keep getting older, more complicated and more scheduled. So that survival mode business is bunk. THIS is my life. It's crazy, it's testing and full of unexpected delays and detours. What better time to show what I'm made of that when it feels hard! Isn't that the whole point?

Along those lines, I've also been thinking a lot about the things that are WONDERFUL about where I'm at, barely keeping my head above water and all. Here's a couple pictures of my favorite things right now, the moments I will surely miss some day.

Eating sand. It makes me crazy, but what is cuter?



Imagination. I could probably show hundreds of those pictures, tell hundreds of great things the kids have come up with. I LOVE kids and the things they come up with! This is Carver driving the garbage truck at our park. It's hard to describe the JOY I felt when he started doing this - his first meaningful pretend play.



Toilet paper pulled completely off the roll, with no hope of re-rolling in any orderly fashion.



Summer days, in and out of the sliding door, sticky fingers and faces from otter pops.



Babies in big shoes. Grace is completely obsessed with shoes right now. If you come over, she's sure to try yours on.



Jumping into leaves. This is last year, one of my favorite pictures of all time.



How about slip 'n slides? We had good times last summer.




Ellie's CRAZY hair after kindergarten. Do I even want to know how simple piggies turn out like this?



Pumpkin patches, sitting on Santa's lap, paper chain countdowns to holidays, Lydia blowing kisses and signing "I love you" from the bus window regardless of who might see. Picture books, especially little ones backing into your lap with a favorite. I'm trying to make an ongoing list of these best times to help me remember why it is so important to do more than just SURVIVE these crazy days.

Don't think I'm there yet. I still have a long way to go. Tonight I turned on ANOTHER movie so I could try to destroy the kitchen by pressure cooking red beans. Last time it worked just like the directions said, so I was a little more confident. It scared us all silly when the rubber overpressure valve popped and FLEW off the canner and steam blew the vent off the microwave. The kids freaked out, Lydia thought it was so disturbing she wanted to record it in her diary right away. :) The mess in the kitchen was mountainous and I have a cold.

But it's not going to get easier anytime soon. As President Monson said in conference:

This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and non-existent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.

Time to do more than survive!

Birthday Boy... and PRESCHOOL!!

Last Saturday we celebrated Carver's birthday early partly because Grandma and Grandpa were in town, partly because his actual big day (Wed) was CRAZY busy and we couldn't have had a party if we wanted to. We hung up streamers in his doorway, put balloons in his room and celebrated all day. Well, if you count family pictures and a soccer game as birthday games... He had a great time despite all that. Most of all because he absolutely adores Grandpa!!



Here is the super cool tipi Grandma made him:



You can see he's got a way cool Buzz Lightyear fazer gun from Auntie Amy that he's using as a tool in most of the pictures. It's loud and obnoxious, but he LOVES it. That's what birthdays are for!



We're so glad that Carver is in our family. He has a sweet side that balances well with the boyish mischief he's always up to. Here's to one wonderful 3 year old!

On his actual birthday, he started PRESCHOOL. HURRAY!!! Did I mention how much I was looking forward to that milestone? Just a TINY bit. :) We went out to wait for the bus about 8:35, just as they'd said. By 8:45, we were tired of waiting and getting antsy since that's just when Lydia needs to leave for HER bus stop. But it came just in time. And our great friends/neighbors were there to snap a couple pictures before walking to the other bus stop with us. Carver did great. He hopped right on, blew tons of kisses and waved bye-bye. It was a tender moment watching him through the window just before the bus took off, but honestly... the moment passed and I was pretty darn excited for all of us!





Ellie needs me, Grace needs me, I need to have a little peace and quiet. I got to watch Ellie's dance class for the first time on Wednesday, which was so much fun. (I noticed a couple behaviors we'll be working on, as well... good thing I finally got to watch!!) We relished our mommy daughter time and painted nails, too. It was heavenly. Carver came home happy as a clam, ate his lunch and we headed to Ellie's bus stop. (yep, we're up to 4 bus stop times and it's only lunch time!) His teacher called in the afternoon to give a report - that's mostly on his blog, if you're curious. Thursday went great, as well, but he woke up really early that morning and so it was no surprise that he came home tired and grumpy. I think I'll get some good naps out of him yet! :) With 4 days of preschool a week, he's going to be wiped OUT!

So here we go, reaching another milestone and turning another corner. I'm excited to see what lies ahead. We sure love this boy!

Experience Music Project

Last night, Derek had a work party downtown Seattle at the Experience Music Project. It's a way funky building that houses a collection of guitars and music paraphenalia related to the music scene, specifically in the pacific NW. Think Pearl Jam, grunge rock, punk rock, etc... There was also a big exhibit to Jimi Hendrix. Honestly, I'm not a big enough music fan to appreciate most of that. I browsed quickly, probably quicker than Derek would've liked. But the upstairs was SUPER cool. It featured art from Hatch Show Prints, posters made from full wood prints. It was incredible! I seriously came home, scheming of ways to make prints like that myself. I'd love some on my walls. Here's a good one, but there were some I liked even better.



We got a couple 12 year-old babysitters that we trusted with our crazy group of kiddos. I picked Derek up in Bellevue, he left his truck there and we drove to Seattle together. It was such a beautiful drive, the leaves changing and the night falling. Ooh - I love this time of year! And I, unlike Derek, could really relish a good commute now and again. :)

The party was pretty typical work-style cocktails. The good parts were that we didn't have to dress up (I'm WAY more comfortable in jeans and the company t-shirt) and the hors d'oeurves were so tasty. I was so glad to see those blue cheese and bacon tartlets come our way a second time. YUM! I'm all about the food. The live band was a great touch and the people I met (coworkers, partners, clients, etc...) were all very nice. It was also nice to go out on a "date" since we so rarely do.

But drink coupons and open bars are just not my scene. We got cranberry juices and the bartender probably assumed we were under-age, right? His expression was pretty funny. I'm never impressed by professionals getting smashed at a work function, but we didn't see much of that since we left early. I always feel a little "peculiar" at events like that, too, and sometimes that makes me feel naive and out of the "know." But last night I felt so grateful to be different. I really had a sense of what I'm teaching my kids, that I've given up an entire lifestyle to raise my kids in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I wouldn't trade a bit of it, not even for blue cheese and bacon tartlets every day of the week.

What would you do for a Webkinz?

Lydia has had a great soccer season! She was excited, worked hard and enjoyed being on a team. As time went on, though, she heard rumors of other girls on the team whose parents offered a Webkinz if they scored a goal. She told me casually, with that little glimmer of hope in her voice that I'd catch the same parental disease (called BRIBERY). Which I did on the spot, figuring that if Lydia worked hard enough all season to put herself in the right place at the right time to make a goal I'd be happy to reward her efforts! And honestly, I also counted on about less than a 50/50 chance of having to pay up. Lydia chases that ball and tries so hard, but soccer doesn't come as easily to her as say, reading does. And how many kids want goals and never get them? LOTS! I had to laugh, too, as I saw how she'd come to actually WANT to score a goal now that a Webkinz was involved. Had it not occurred to her before?!

You would not believe how her soccer season changed! She ran so hard, even one game in the pouring down rain. All for the love of a Webkinz! When I first agreed to the deal, she was so cute in saying, "now I just have to wait one more week to get a Webkinz!" But more recently, she'd started coming to grips with the reality that, with only 2 games left, she might not do it. Goals are harder to come by than she thought. And we talked about her allowance and how she was pretty close to saving up enough of her own money. She was very mature about it all.

Then Grandma and Grandpa E. and Auntie Lyssa came into town and WOWEE - the stakes were high! She realized if there was ever a week to score a goal, this was it. It was a gorgeous fall day, scattered sunshine and just a touch chilly. And, of course, I'd forgotten my camera. :) The other team was a good match for our girls. Lydia started as goalie, then took a turn on offense/defense. She was doing great, chasing the ball and trying hard to steal it, keep control, etc... Then the moment came: her teammate kicked it towards the goal and she was standing right there in front of the goal, so she just kicked it in! She SCORED A GOAL!! How perfect was all of that? Except not having my camera.... Here she is choosing her beloved Webkinz. She ended up with a German shepherd, who she named Lucky after her very lucky day.



We're REALLY proud of her for wanting to play soccer in the first place and so happy that she was able to reach her goal. She ended the day by saying, "the best part was how good it felt to kick it into the goal." I'm so glad that the goal had some merit in and of itself!! What a wonderful parent moment!

It's been hilarious to watch the offer spread through the team. Another girl earned her Webkinz yesterday, too, and we were just as excited for her. What's your currency? It appears 7 year olds around here will do anything for a Webkinz. :)

P.S. Ellie was fortunate enough to have enough allowance for a small Webkinz penguin. Whew! She looks a little worried about things in that picture, huh?

just one word

Debi tagged me and it's been hanging over me, so here you go - my one word answers. Much harder than it seems! I just went with my current faves, they change almost daily... :)

1. Where is your cell phone? NONEXISTENT
2. Where is your significant other? WORKING
3. Your hair color? REDDISH-BROWN
4. Your mother? DEVOTED
5. Your father? HARDWORKING
6. Your favorite thing? MEMORIES
7. Your dream last night? GONE
8. Your dream/goal? ORGANIZATION
9. The room you're in? MASTER
10. Your hobby? KIDDOS
11. Your fear? PAIN
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? IMPROVED
13. Where were you last night? CRAFTING
14. What you're not? NEATFREAK
15. One of your wish-list items? TIME
16. Where you grew up? ARIZONA
17. The last thing you did? BUS-STOP
18. What are you wearing? NECKLACE
19. Your TV? OFF
20. Your pet(s)? KIDS!
21. Your computer? ADDICTIVE
22. Your mood? LAZY
23. Missing someone? FAMILY
24. Your car? MOM-VAN
25. Something you're not wearing? SHOES
26. Favorite store? PIER1
27. Your summer? SHORT
28. Love someone? MANY
29. Your favorite color? RED
30. When is the last time you laughed? TODAY
31. Last time you cried? WEEKS

I'm tagging Carlen, Amy S., Melissa G, Leisy, Laney, Hailey.

Cold Turkey

In a moment of insanity, I took away these:

from BOTH Grace and Carver. Seriously, what was I thinking? A week ago Saturday I just told Carver they were gone, maybe on a boat? Maybe it went to visit it's grandma's house? Probably. But it's definitely not here!

That's why we left our girls unattended in sacrament meeting because there was no way to keep the little ones quiet on the bench. When Derek took Grace out, Carver FLIPPED out and so out we went, too. Sigh. Actually, it's gone so much better than I thought it would. Everyone is still sleeping at night... mostly. And Grace naps just like normal. Carver even caves to his fatigue, occasionally crashing on my bed while I check my email. They both still ask for the "yum-yum" but less and less often. And to compensate, we're doing a LOT of this:



And Carver eats about half-a-pack a day of this:



Now I just need to get these two out of diapers and I'll have it made! :)

one year older...

I'm not really so sure about the wiser part, but I'm officially a year older. And I find myself in a new spot. My whole life I've wanted to be older than I was. Blame it on being a crazy type-A first born child, but I wanted a dress suit when I was yet a preschooler and was anxious for college since I knew it existed. Or maybe blame it on the fact that I started school in Oregon, where fall birthdays could begin kindergarten before they were even 5 years old. I was ALWAYS much younger than all my friends. Wishing to be older has probably ruined me for life. Now I'm "grown up" and conflicted. Part of me thinks that it's about time I seem old enough to have 4 kids. Maybe I'll finally catch up to all those ladies I admire further down life's path! But part of me feels like I'm getting O-L-D and getting wrinkled (if you can't see them, ask my children. They know where they are). This is my last year of youth, folks. That's right, I'm now 29.

Friday was the big day and it was wonderful. The kids were out of school, Derek took the day off work to celebrate my aging process. He even watched our kiddos and my friend's kiddos so I could browse a boutique that I had no intention of purchasing a thing. It was just for fun. And it was! Then we took our little family to the pumpkin patch, Fall City Farms, for some fresh doughnuts, a taste of the country life and a collection of pumpkins for our porch. The kids had to wear what I said and smile in pictures. What more could a mother ask for? It was great. We ran a couple errands of my choosing and then had dinner at California Pizza Kitchen, one of my many FAVORITE restaurants. After last year's bummer of a birthday, anything would be good. But I'll save that topic for another post. Here's a few pics of my big day.

Loosen Up

It's pretty exciting around here when teeth start getting wiggly. Lydia's lost 5 teeth now and is an old pro at the routine. You either wait til it's so loose that it literally falls out with a deep breath or glass of water or you can ask Daddy to do the honors at the dinner table and then gasp at the blood on the napkin when he yanks it out. They don't trust their mom with things like that.

Despite feeling terribly hurt by this unwarranted preference, I have to admit that I get pretty wrapped up in the anticipation of such an exciting rite of passage. And I LOVE hearing their ideas about the tooth fairy, in particular. Lydia is sure that she uses her fairy magic to levitate her subjects out of bed before getting the tooth out from under the pillow. Sounds pretty freaky, if you ask me.

But holy guacamole, I didn't realize it would bring out the SUPER control freak in me. Not that I didn't know it was there, just that I thought I'd discovered all it's many triggers. I don't like dangling things, unfinished projects, etc... So I get a little impatient sometimes and try to get them to wiggle it 100 times or twist it 10 times. Maybe that's why they don't trust me? Nah... Lydia's second permanent tooth came in shark style, behind that oh-so-wiggly baby tooth. Gasp! I think I had a stomach ache for 2 days thinking of the ortho bill and the fact that we don't have insurance for that sort of thing. I got over that little bump in my mental health, but the crowding of all the rest of the permanent teeth is probably giving me gray hairs as we speak. I just can't handle being so OUT of control about this totally uncontrollable part of life. We've had our first consultation at the orthodontist (at the recommendation of the dentist) and won't be seeing any action (or bills) for at least a year and half, but I can't tell you how much better I feel now that I'm in control of SOMETHING to do with these big teeth in their little mouths. Pretty scary commentary, huh?

Ellie just found her FIRST wiggly tooth. Lydia was much older, so this is a huge surprise for all of us. And poor girl, I had to work out some of my issues on her. Really, I did think it would work. Maybe. AND I thought it would be so special to get it on video - her first tooth coming out and all. She was on board with the whole crazy idea, I promise.



UPDATE: Ellie finally lost her tooth last night! Hurray!! I did the dental floss trick - make a loop around the tooth, pull it tight and out it pops! And about time...